Silent Night
It’s Christmas eve tonight, but I don’t get the joy-celebration kind of feel I used to get when Christmas came. Year by year I grow and it feels like He wants to show me that Christmas is not all about celebration, holidays, and eat dinner with family. It looks like that from the outside, but there’s a deeper meaning of Christmas that He wants me to experienced as I grow up.
The joy feeling of Christmas in my home has become less and less in the past few years. Christmas now feels like any other ordinary day. Particularly this year, for the first time in my 20 years of life, I can’t go to attend Christmas eve mass. I feel like something is missing, but I can do nothing as we are totally broke right now that we don’t even have enough money to go to the church. 2011 is officially one of the worst years in my life, coming second after my high school years. Not everything was bad but mostly were.
So here I am, spending a silent Christmas eve with my mom, which I think is not so bad because at least I still have her with me. It’s about accepting, feel thankful of what you have and what have happened. The good things, the bad things, everything is wrapped with the tears that keep coming from my eyes now. But then again, new year is coming and for me new year always means a new hope. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
I know this exact feeling. My mom’s been telling me the same, that Christmas isn’t about the shiny things, It’s about Him.
I guess, we just gotta find a way to close our eyes and remember.
yes, you’re right
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