When It Ends, It Ends

I knew this would come, but all this time I pretend I don’t notice it. Everything will come to an end, eventually. And my current circumstances is no exception.  

Right now, I have two voices in my head. One who wants me to leave everything and start anew and the other one who wants me to stay. Tonight, I have discovered that once I get out from this house, everything will change. Everything that surrounds me now. I won’t be able to feel this kind of feeling anymore,  to see all of my pets whom I consider as my family, or to feel the comfort of home anymore. And I only have a few months left until it happens.

Throughout my life, I’ve lived in a couple of different places. Moving and leaving things behind are something I should have quite mastered now. But for this time, I don’t think I’d be ready to move and leave things behind because when it ends, it ends.

It ends because my mom said, once I get out and go abroad, she will move to a smaller place and live life on her own, while my dad will still be working on board until we don’t know when. And my current house will be open for rent, while all of my pets will *sigh* I don’t know what will my mom do to them.

When I leave, I don’t plan to go back. It’s not that I will go for good but I just don’t know when exactly I will comeback. After taking my diploma, I will work and live there. All I know is when I comeback someday, it won’t be the same anymore. It won’t be the same house I left before, it won’t be the same faces I said goodbye before.

This is the cliché reason why I refuse to do something real now. I just want to stay and be with them as long as I can,  because I know, now is the only time I have with them. I’m crying while making this post.

pic: factoryxii

Advertisement